Feeding My Child

When I realized that I was treating my eldest as the scapegoat in our family, treating her as a bit of an outsider and displacing my negative feelings on her, the ways in which I was doing it were there, staring me in the face.  I didn’t have to sit and think hard about the “how” of it all.  I had always been conscious of what I was doing, but always had excuses that allowed me to get by with it.  Now I have no excuses.  I see the excuses as the bunk that they are.    

One of the things that I routinely did with my eldest was I prepared food for the younger kids and didn’t prepare anything for her.  Why?  Well, my excuse was that she knew what she wanted and would get it herself.  Why not?  First, I can tell you that it was most certainly neglect,

Celebrating Being a Truth Teller

Last week, I broke loose and celebrated the qualities that contributed to being cast as the scapegoat.  Today, I met up with my sister.  The meet-up lasted only about ten minutes, and during that time we were simply walking around a small grocery store.  But by the end, I was almost in tears.  Nothing was said, nothing was done . . . it is just that I feel about an inch tall in her presence.